A new perspective on when things go bad
“I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest.
I do not judge the universe.”
– Dalai Lama
In her recent Ted Talk, Heather Lanier tells the tale of a farmer whose only horse runs away. Neighbours come over to say "oh... that's so bad," and the farmer replies "good or bad, hard to say."
Days later the farmer's horse returns and brings with it seven wild steeds. This time the neighbours say "what a stroke of good luck!" The farmer again replies "good or bad, hard to say."
Shortly thereafter, the farmer's son is thrown from the back of one of the wild horses, breaking his leg. "Terrible luck!" cries the neighbour, to which the farmer replies "good or bad, hard to say".
A few weeks later, officers come knocking on the farmer's door. They are looking for men to draft for the army. Seeing the farmer's son with his leg in a cast, they bid him well and continue on their way.
Good or bad is indeed hard to say. In fact, according to Lanier, the notions of 'good and bad' are merely incomplete stories we tell ourselves. The challenge we have as human beings is that when something bad happens – instead of just letting it unfold like the farmer – we choose to affix a negative label on it. Our immediate wants and needs crowd our sense of overall progress.
Of course, changing the way we think about 'good' and 'bad' won't stop bad things from happening to us, but it may change how we feel about it, and deal with it.
Sometimes when things feel as though they are falling apart they may actually be falling into place.